Horror-FAIL Friday: My OLD Writing Part 9

Old Writing

Welcome back to the horrific fun that never ends. I’m talking about my old writing. It’s the stuff from over ten years ago that I keep locked in the back of a deep and dark filing cabinet. It’s the stuff that I had almost forgotten all about. But here it is and now we’re about to breathe new life into these often misused and silly words. The story so far goes something like this:

Protagonist Lila attends a fancy shmantsy photography school in California which happens to be on a hill in the center of the town…like some kind of creepy haunted mansion. The first day of her junior year, she and best friend, Samus (who has an affinity for freaking out over the littlest things), meet and greet their new biology teacher, Mr. McFadden. McFadden, for some reason, annoys the ever-loving crap out of both Lila and Samus (perhaps because he doesn’t understand the use of curtains, doesn’t own a watch, and assumes that cloud forms have something to do with human physiology). Needless to say, there is something funny going on with McFadden and Samus, both who have some kind of bizarre episode concurrently during their last class. Samus flashes back to the murder of his friend, Ross, who went off to romantically eat candy bars in the moonlight (I wish I was making that up). McFadden? We have no idea. But Lila, who witnessed both, is genuinely curious and wants to find out more. Let’s join her in her stupid quest for answers.

Chapter 5

Second period was over sooner than Samus had anticipated [even though in the last chapter he said it was DRAGGING]. He strolled down the corridor in the North Wing towards Lila’s and Taylor’s room. Since Taylor couldn’t check on the bad-tempered feline, he had decided to do the honors himself. [Seriously, what the hell kind of medical condition does this cat have?]

[Wait. I know.]

He unlocked the door with Taylor’s key and quietly entered with caution. The last time he had attempted the check-up, the cat escaped. He wasn’t about to make the same mistake this time.

“Angelo?” He whispered checking under the beds. The cat wasn’t making this easy. “Where are you, you scaredy cat?!” he exclaimed. [UGH.] He looked in the bathroom. The history between Samus and Angelo was full of warfare. [Fitting of a history textbook, the war of Samus and Angelo began in 1860 and concluded in 1865…] The first time Samus met him in Highschool, he knew he would be trouble. The first time he had come to Lila’s house, Angelo had scratched his head. [What was he trying to do with the cat? Where it as a scarf?] The next, bit his hand. The third, he clawed his good sweater. [NO. NOT HIS GOOD SWEATER! Whatever did he do?] And every time since then had been progressively worse. [So, Samus values his good sweater over his own body? Priorities, dude.]

Angelo, who was hiding in the kitchen cupboard [How did he get in there?], knew Samus’ voice when he heard it. The boy never seemed to take him seriously; he’d fix that. Samus was rude, obnoxious, and mean in Angelo’s opinion; and Angelo was the same in Samus’. The cat merely picked Samus as an enemy when he refused to feed him. Even though Samus had attempted to feed him ever since then, Angelo wouldn’t permit it. [This cat holds a long grudge.] He was paranoid, afraid that maybe Samus would hurt him, and therefor, he was always on the move to protect himself.

[But seriously though. I dropped the entire plot to focus on the cat. The cat, as far as I know, doesn’t play any kind of significant part in the story. Back to the plot, please!]

But this time, Samus wasn’t in the mood to have a battle with him. Samus wiped his forehead, the anguish of remembering Ross bearing down on him. He sat on the bed and thought to himself.

“Did I kill him?” he whispered, feeling the powerful response overwhelm him. [WHY would you have killed him?] He felt a cold shiver tingle in his cheeks and run up and down his spine. Angelo cocked his head to the side and stared at Samus curiously, not recognizing what was happening.

“I couldn’t have.” He held his temples and shook his head, as if trying to jar loose any hidden information from the nooks in his brain. “I didn’t.” He blew a sigh of relief when common sence hit him. [Well, GOOD FOR YOU. You remembered you didn’t kill anyone.] Angelo jumped down from the cabinet and cautiously scanned the scene. Making sure it was no set up, he leapt up on his lap and rubbed his furry face against his cheek. [But…walt…Nevermind. I just don’t care.]

He checked the clock and cussed at the time. [The cat hated being late.]

Awkwardly petting the cat in gratitude, stood carefully to allow the cat to move from his lap and left quickly and headed for the library in the west wing. [Strange sentence.]


Lila thumbed through the pages of a National Geographic magazine, scanning all the text and pictures for Siberian Tigers. She always wanted to become a photographer for National Geographic; to have the change to photograph rare creatures in their natural environments. Other than that, her biology project covered them and she wanted to get a good grade like always. [WHAT? They just had a class that covered cloud formations and now she suddenly has a project on Siberian Tigers? What the hell?]

Having no success, she placed it back according to date and pulled another with forests of the Amazon on the cover. [Why not just check the table of contents… or even THE FRONT COVER?]

The atmosphere in the library was quiet and still aside from the typing at the computers, a shuffle of books at the librarian’s desk and the conference in the research room about school schedules and resources.

Already fed up with the way her search was going [She’s not trying very hard!], she plopped her magazine on the table and held her sleepy head.

She spied the door of the library opening and Samus walked in with a serious look carved into his face. He sat down at her table and looked around to see if anyone was noticing.

“Lila? What do you remember about Ross before he…” He hunched over a little more and whispered, “Murder.” [Before he murder? Ugh.] Lila stared uncertain at what to say. Samus never wanted to talk about Ross. Usually, if Ross was the subject of a discussion, it was extremely serious. [Despite that whole remembering how you were all class clowns booby-trapping the high school hallways earlier…]


“I want to conduct another investigation. [WHAT? Are you suddenly a detective now?] Something about the first one seemed…abnormal.” He was shaking, goosebumps emerging on his arms.

“But they caught the guy remember?”

“Yah, but in the report they mention something like death was caused by a blow to the head by a heavy blunt object.” [Obviously I was watching a little too much CSI…]

“Yeah, the coroner was already determining the cause of death at the scene, don’t you remember? Do you have evidence to say otherwise?” Lila was now concerned with Samus; he was taking Ross’s death too hard. [Um…it’s his good friend who died. I’m not sure taking it hard is such a bad thing… Thinking he’s a police investigator…and that he thought he murdered him however, would be concerning.]

“I…” he stopped to think before he spoke.


“I’ve been having flashbacks ever since I got that picture from you. I saw him dead in it and there was no bruise or cut on his forehead.” [I think bashing someone’s skull in would show more than just a bruise…]

“Flashbacks?” She asked, unconvinced.


“Are you sure?”

“Positive.” He checked his watch and stared around again. She thought back to her sophomore year of high school. Samus was continuously telling her and Ross that he was seeing stuff that already happened and he wasn’t even there. Ross was too imersed in something else to care, but she listened, just as skeptical as she was now. [Wait…so that whole “astral projection” joke I made a few chapters ago was actually right…?]

“They’ve started again.” She said.


“I want you to see a docter, Samus,” she said, packing up her binder. He rolled his eyes and tryed to explain but she kept talking, “I want him to find out what is causing these and why you are getting them now. All I want is for you to be safe. You are my best friend. Please don’t get caught up in anything you can’t get out of.” She lightly kissed his cheek and filed out of the library with the other students as the bell rang loudly.

Samus shook his head and gathered his things for 3rd period; Black and White photography.

Not much craziness happened this episode besides the cat taking on way too many human characteristics for comfort.  Samus thinks he can astrally project himself in flashbacks and Lila takes a quasi-mothering role that’s all-together just a little too weird. Stay tuned for the next episode of this story’s Horror-FAIL Friday!



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