Welcome back to the final episode of My OLD Writing on Horror-FAIL Friday. It is a sad and yet joyous day because this turd of a story that I wrote over 12 years ago is finally coming to a close. Be it known that it does not have a resolution; my younger self gave up on it, hopefully because I realized that the idea was stupid and moved on to other projects (probably equally as awful). Here’s what we know…
At an up and up photography school in California, Lila Pullman has become strangely obsessed with her biology teacher, Mr. McFadden. McFadden is mysterious in the way that he doesn’t appreciate the function of curtains or watches, thinks that clouds are a topic fit to teach in biology, and frequently consumes chocolate chip cookies and apple pie together. Oh, and he seems to have some kind of strange astral projection power which causes him to spontaneously bleed. Lila goes to his house to further her investigation which leads to weird flirtation and the question of where Lila grows all of her zillions of tomatoes in the dorm. After becoming lost on the way home like a child in the grocery store, her coddling parent-friends Benny and Samus find her. Samus, a man named after a fictional female Nintendo character, also seems to be having some problems with astral projection; namely that he’s flashing back to when his high school friend, Ross, was randomly murdered during a romantic rendezvous with the moon and some candy bars. Let’s see what we can glean from this last, oh so terrible chapter…