Yes, yes! You’ve been looking forward to this all week, haven’t you? We return once again to the awful cat vampire love story drama that I tried to craft when I was in grade school. Being that I wrote this when I was about 14 in 2002, had no social life, and spent all of my time inside writing, it’s bound to be bad. This was also at a time when I had crazy curly hair that could not be tamed and gigantic glasses, which weren’t in style then (but are now for some reason…). There are still times I look back on this story and wonder how the hell I managed to write something so incredibly terrible. The realization is that I didn’t know it was terrible then. I thought it was better than the things I’d written when I was younger (and it was, somehow…). Moral of the story is that hindsight is a bitch, but it also can make you feel better about where you are now and remind you of all you’ve learned.
But I’m preaching. I’ll bring you up to speed on where we now stand in our “cat-pire” story.
Welcome to part 3 of the worst vampire story you’ve ever read. That’s right, I’ve been going through some of my old grammar school writing and sharing with you the nitty-gritty, the kind of writing that should be kept in a filing cabinet with a lock chained around it in a dark basement somewhere. Alas, for humor’s sake, it’s been let into the light and now we’ll examine it for the travesty that it is.
As this is a continuing series, I’ll fill you in on what’s happened so far: absolutely nothing. Well, so far we’ve been introduced to a coven of “glam-pires” that can turn into cats at will, desire rainwater as their main delicacy (besides the occasional chicken dipper platter or tuna noodle casserole). There’s Leeta, our protagonist, the wallflower who thinks herself above the others, Sylvia, the wise hippie who likes to go walk in the woods, Milo, the “too nice” ex-cop, Seth, the daredevil who randomly rides his motorcycle around the block at “100 mph every night”, Melanie, the “typical street girl” with her blue hair, Donald Duck swearing shirt, and leather pants (snigger) and Reed, the depressing pianist who can’t cook to save his life (well, he’s dead so I suppose that doesn’t matter). Leeta and Reed hit it off at the very end of the last episode before Melanie dragged her out to a club for drinks (more rainwater I presume?). Let’s follow them and see what other mishaps our heroes will get into…